Stay?
A kiss to find peace
“So when are you gonna leave?” I asked him with a huge 'I don't care’ written on my face even when my insides yelled at me to beg him to stay.
The desperate need of having him around me wasn't something my conscious self could avoid. "Don't go” these words were trying to claw their way out of my mouth when I realised that the time had come.
Time to let go.
Wish I could just ask him to stop, to not leave me, to not taint my insides with sorrow and grief.
To not go.
His eyes found their to the face of his watch from my eyes before uttering the words which I despised to my core “Gonna leave in a minute”
I nodded my head as my eyes drifted towards the flooring, suddenly finding them more interesting to gaze at.
My throat suddenly felt heavy, too dry to form any sentences or maybe it was my mind which had suddenly all fogged up.
After a beat of silence, even after using all my mental power to come up with an appropriate response to hide away my emotions, the best that I could come up with was an "Okay.”
"You don't want to say anything else?”
Yeah, I definitely did have many things to say….. but still my mouth refused to open.
Maybe it was the suffocation in my heart or maybe the loud cry trapped in my throat moments away from escaping its way out my body, begging to be heard.
Unable to utter anything, I just shook my head.
Even after hearing him leaving a loud sigh, my gaze refused to leave the floor.
Every step he took towards me echoed through the apartment, disrupting the silence which had made its place moments ago. Not long after, one pair of boots came in my view, stealing my attention.
He had polished them, they shined as the light from the buIb got reflected back from their surface.
Black polish on its surface gave those boots a glow, a glow which could capture people's attention.
Was he this much prepared to leave?
A hand slowly clasped my chin delicately in between its fingers and lifted my face gradually making my eyes meet his black ones. Tears had already made their way to his, making my vision blurry too.
Even with my not so clear gaze, I saw his face inch closer and closer with each passing second.
He didn't stop till our mouths were just a single centimeter apart, till we could hear each other's heartbeats echoing in our ears.
Till I could feel his breath on my lips.
Before I could say or even think, he gently grabbed the side of face as he closed the remaining distance between us, making his lips meet mine. They stayed still for a second before slowly moving against mine.
All thoughts, sorrows, regrets and guilt seemed to have left my body at that moment, making it feel like relief had stacked its claim on my mind.
Peace had built a home in my heart, besides his name which was already residing there.
I tilted my head slightly to match his pace as it had started to feel desperate and needy.
The need to claim me, the need to suck my soul out of my body. To devour me.
But by responding to the movement of his lips I wanted him to know that I wanted his soul too. His thoughts, heart, , his everything.
He sucked my lips harder making it hard for me to breath, taking my bottom lip in between his as he bit and sucked it.
I let him.
I wanted him to know that the soul he wanted to claim. the thoughts he wanted to occupy, the heart beats he wanted to own…… were already his. Only his.
Moments later, he broke the kiss and looked straight in my yearning eyes with his teary ones, before uttering the words which made a tear roll down my cheek, " Just say it, and I won't leave….. like ever. ”
With a choked sob escaping my throat, I cried out to him, " Please, stay!”
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